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(no subject)
Dec. 4th, 2010 08:44 pm[Filter: Davan]
How do you -- do it?
The sound of steel, men fighting and dying, the chaos -- I could barely even remember who I was, much less what side I was fighting for and who I should be killing and who I should be stopping from killing me and who I should be supporting -- it was absolute madness out there.
How do you do that? How is it possible to compartmentalize that much, to get through that and feel like you haven't just wrung out your soul.
I'm not a soldier. I've never realized that so strongly. I can barely hold the sword you taught me in a real fight. I'm barely trained. I don't know if I can do this. Maybe my mother would be an easier war to fight, after all. I don't care about this men, I don't care about this war. I don't want to fight in it, and I especially don't want to die in it.
What's wrong with this country?
[Filter: Public]
Then good news is, we lived This time.
How do you -- do it?
The sound of steel, men fighting and dying, the chaos -- I could barely even remember who I was, much less what side I was fighting for and who I should be killing and who I should be stopping from killing me and who I should be supporting -- it was absolute madness out there.
How do you do that? How is it possible to compartmentalize that much, to get through that and feel like you haven't just wrung out your soul.
I'm not a soldier. I've never realized that so strongly. I can barely hold the sword you taught me in a real fight. I'm barely trained. I don't know if I can do this. Maybe my mother would be an easier war to fight, after all. I don't care about this men, I don't care about this war. I don't want to fight in it, and I especially don't want to die in it.
What's wrong with this country?
[Filter: Public]
Then good news is, we lived This time.
